My Addictions

Addiction is a funny thing. I mean, not if it's drugs or alcohol or the like, but I mean the very 2017 "I'm addicted to Netflix/latte/avocado toast" style dependencies that everyone seems to have. At least everyone on Instagram. But these are not true addictions, just fads or passing crazes. An addiction occurs when something takes control of you, is the root of everything you do. You get up in the morning for it. It dominates your thoughts, actions and behaviour. The strongest non-substance addiction is probably love as that drives the lives of people the world over, myself included.

I say it's a funny thing because even addictions can come and go. We all have passions, hobbies and interests but it's rare that they become so deeply engrained in us to be called an addiction. The most common one is probably fitness as exercise is highly addictive. It makes you feel good and gives you a rush that you want to repeat. Plus, there is always an incentive to continue as there is always an opportunity for improvement. You can run further, swim faster, hit harder, score more. Word records and personal bests are there to be beaten. So in a way it's an easy addiction - not in the sense of not requiring effort, as we all know that to get fitter or better at sport takes hours of sweating and dedication. Rather easier meaning obvious.

Yet like I said, addictions can be ephemeral and after a few months or even years you lose interest. I really enjoy sport and exercise, but I would never say it's my addiction. I spent half my childhood in swimming pools and certainly loved water polo growing up. Equally I could spend days watching cricket. But still these are not addictions as I can easily press the off button, not get in the pool, not play squash. Music is pretty transitory for me too. Of course there are specific songs and artists that I always come back to, but I can go 6 months without tuning in to them.

Reading is another passion of mine. There are few things that give me as big a kick as being absorbed in a brilliant novel. But it still doesn't drive my life like a true addiction.

I also think it comes with age. When you're a kid, you fixate on something and can spend all your time and energy on it; you're carefree and have all the time in the world to chase the things you love. Once you have a job, a home and myriad responsibilities the available time for addictions is greatly limited. Anyone who has a hobby has to maximise every minute of their free time to pursue it.

The nearest thing to that for me would be travelling. Visiting new countries and living abroad has always been a strong interest and had a big say in the course my life has taken. I do wake up and wish to be travelling, not just on a permanent holiday as such but experiencing new places, discovering cultures, languages, towns, food. One of the main reasons for working is to have money to travel, and it's what consumes most of my income and days not at a desk. I spend free time planning new destinations, and when I get back from a trip I need to book the next. Not knowing when and where the next adventure begins sits uncomfortably with me. If that is an addiction to you then yes, I'm addicted to travel.

The Allure of People Watching

I work from home so naturally I spend the occasional moment looking out of the window. It's great for my eyes (see my last post!) because we all need a break from screens. But being here in this flat on the top floor gives me a great vantage point of my neighbours and surroundings. 7 days a week I have the time to peer out of the window, let the sunlight hit the back of my eyes and observe the ever-changing environs.

I'm not much of a nature person - I like animals but plants and trees don't really do it for me. It's always interesting to note changes in weather, watch the clouds float across the sky and the wind swirls up the vegetation. My favourite is thunderstorms, seeing the almighty power of the lightning as it flashes just outside the window and momentarily lights up the night sky. And then the rain belts down, causing streams down the road which carry the detritus discarded carelessly and puddles to collect around the drains which get ever larger with time. All this knowing I'm safe indoors behind glass and no wind or rain or lightning can get me.

Yet by far the most interesting thing to observe is people. The old man across the street with some form of disability who, every day without fail, slowly opens the front door of his block and rolls out in his wheelchair, stopping under the canopy for a short while presumably to catch his breath. I turn my head back to my laptop and continue to work, and when I next glance out of the window to my right he's still there, only he's wheeled forward a metre or two. He's wearing a sleeveless vest and shorts, the same as always but understandable given the regularly warm temperatures here. He might, though, find some other garments now that autumn is beginning to show its presence. A bit later on he will push himself with extreme effort a short way down the pavement stopping whilst he is still in sight from my window. There seems no purpose to this recurring groundhog day-style venture. Fresh air, a change of scenery and a bit of physical effort for the arms I suppose.

I prefer him by far to the youths who hang around in groups of five or six just round from corner from where I can see. I can, however, hear them more than I see them until their arrival outside is heralded by the whining scooters or the over-revving dirt bikes. I call them youths but they are probably of a similar age to me, late twenties or so. They clearly don't work as their bikes whizz by both day and night at all times. You wonder where they get the money for their toys and the fuel. I guess they save on helmets, gloves and other protective equipment so that no doubt helps keep the cost down. And don't get me started on benefits. They might be a nuisance on hot summer nights when you need the window open to sleep, but it's better that they ride around on their bikes and quads than do a lot worse.

People watching is a fascinating activity in itself and one that's great for whiling away time. Just so long as I'm behind the glass looking out and not the one being observed.

Eyes, E-Readers and Evolution

Another reason why sometimes it's hard to find the drive to write is that it requires looking at a screen. We spend so much of our time with eyes on screens, constantly focusing and re-focusing because of the changing brightness presented to us. It's bad and I can really feel it some days when I've spent too long reading text, editing documents, checking images and writing content.

It's known that blue light is detrimental to the health and functioning of our eyes. And it's entirely provable: spend a day in front of your laptop, reading, writing, watching and then head outside. You'll notice that your further distance vision is slightly blurry and it takes your eyes longer to focus on things. This is focusing fatigue, caused by the muscles that work to focus your sight having to react to the light coming off your screen, which tends to be bright and change a lot.

I notice this on some days, especially when I've spent a long time indoors and haven't given my eyes the time off from focusing on close objects and screens. Read about it online and you'll find various tips and suggestions. The best one is simply to stop using devices, but as we know that just isn't feasible in this day and age. Working, relaxing, shopping, socialising, catching up on news and so on, is all comprised of screen viewing. Spending more time outdoors is, however, a good remedy.

Keeping your devices further away from you can help, as does having the right glasses with an anti-reflective coating, that is if you need eyewear. You might also have heard of the 20/20/20 rule. This advises having a break from looking at your screen every 20 minutes for at least 20 seconds whilst looking at something in the distance which at least 20ft away (6m for lovers of the metric system but I'm afraid that spoils the catchiness somewhat).

I'm a big fan of the Kindle e-reader with its ink display, despite mine recently suffering from a few issues displaying the text clearly. But it's a great invention and a real relief for eyes, although so is a regular book. Unfortunately, it doesn't do images well and is no replacement for a computer.

So our eyes will be getting worse for the foreseeable future, until they invent another type of eye-friendly multi-purpose screen or until the human race evolves. We will have to wait and see which comes first.

Motivation Monday? The Never-Ending Struggle With Self-Motivation

I'm always amazed by how hard it is to be motivated to do certain things. I started this series of publishing my writing 4 times a week only a few days ago and already it has taken a fair bit of self-forcing to get myself to this point, part way through the first paragraph of today's blog. Yes, there were other reasons for not doing this until 7pm today. First, I worked for 8 hours. Second, I spent over an hour today reading (On the Road by Jack Kerouac I don't hear you asking).

It's a funny thing how shortsighted we can be when it comes to certain things in life. We want something but we struggle to put the effort in to achieve or get it. We want to get fit and have a more athletic figure but find it immensely difficult to force ourselves to exercise. We want to cook and eat more healthily, which we manage for a few days or a week, but tiredness hits and then we order a takeaway or snack on things we shouldn't. At first we call it a cheat meal or a cheat day, then it becomes the norm. We want to make friends and socialise more, but it's easier to spend Saturday night at home watching a film. We want to be creative and actually do something with our lives, but it's a challenge when you're staring at the blank blog page and are lacking inspiration.

It's a never-ending struggle. Where do you get motivation? Self-forcing works for a short amount of time, but if your heart isn't in it and you don't absorb it into your daily routine reasonably quickly then it always feels like you're doing the abnormal instead of a routine activity. If we exercise at set times for set periods then it's a routine and easier to continue once you've started. So maybe that's the answer for this blog. But exercise doesn't require too much creativity or brain power. Follow the instructor, do the right moves at the right time, push hard for the full session and you'll get your results. For a creative exercise it's a much different kettle of fish.

I find when it comes to writing that when I'm in the mood and have a small hint of inspiration, I get a rhythm and words and thoughts flow with ease. In one of these moods I can just write and write. Let's hope that as I start to write more regularly these moods come around more often as the thing with self-motivation is that it usually runs out pretty quickly.

What Can I Write About?

As mentioned in my previous post, one problem I have that I'd like to resolve as such is how to write a book. Beyond needing a rough genre, solid characters, an outline for the plot with a story that will captivate the imagination of the reader, and then writing a draft, a second draft, editing and rewriting. Those are the obvious, tangible elements. The process of sitting down and writing doesn't daunt me, I know I could sit and write and write. But it's having the x factor, some indescribable quality either of a character or the story, and then finding the words and the style to express it so it's readable, relatable (or not) and magnetises the reader.

I've got a few ideas for stories, mostly based more or less on my own experiences. I travelled around Peru and Central America in 2010 (wow it was that long ago already?!) and wrote a diary which I started to develop on a different blog. There's plenty of material there.

Similarly I moved from London to Poland where I lived for 2 and a half years, and there's more than enough to write about, be it a fictional story or a A Year In Provence-style autobiographical tale. Student life, travels in Europe and America, living in France, the list of potential stories goes on. Maybe I will use this blog to develop a few of those, dedicating a few posts to a specific subject and see how I like it, how things shape up.

The other issue, which is probably more mental than anything else, is the feeling I have of not being capable of writing a book because I feel severely underprepared. I haven't read "all the classics" (who has?) but I feel like I just haven't read enough. I set myself the goal of reading 52 books this year. 1 per week seemed like a challenge but still doable. Well we are well over halfway into this year and I've read about 20 books, so I'm trailing quite badly. I adore reading, being transported into another world, thinking, contemplating and all the other clichéd but correct things we say reading does for us.

However, it's when reading that I realise just how incapable of replicating the authors' skills and producing a novel I am. Short stories are a good idea for a start, but before I even get that far I'm going to be honing my craft here.

Exercise. I must start to exercise more regularly, both for my body's sake and my mind's too. Reading, writing, exercising, on top of work and the other duties, chores, activities that life entails. That's why it would be no loss to my life to delete social media apps and fill my time more productively and enjoyably doing things I actually want to do more of the time.

Two blogs about wanting to write, the reasons why, the challenges and so on seems like enough. Now it's time to write about something different.

Bad Habits New Beginnings

I want to write more. I want to write full stop. I used to write. But I got lazy, I got a job and I got 21st century syndrome. When it's easier to open Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or any other social media platform, switch off, disengage brain and become a living zombie, it's often the option we go for. It feels like you're doing something, and you are. But what you're doing is scrolling through, for the most part, completely irrelevant and uninteresting photos, posts, videos, gifs or whatever they next invent. You'll be surprised how easy it is to fritter away huge chunks of time doing this meaningless activity or idly reading news articles pretending they are of some importance to your life. 10 mins here, 5 minutes there. 10 minutes waiting at the stop and then 15 on the bus. During your lunch break, toilet break, fag break. And before you know it you've wasted over an hour of your day contemplating videos of cats, envying your friends and their holiday photos, reading about someone completely irrelevant to your life doing something unimportant in a place you've never been to before. That's about 5% of your day. 5% gone. Whoosh. Multiply by 365 and you've spent over 5% of your YEAR doing nothing, achieving nothing and giving nothing to your life.

But I've gone a bit too far for a tad too long. This wasn't really why I decided to pick up my electronic pen today. No. But it set the scene. So to get back to the initial point, I want to write more. And the only way to do this is to force myself.

So from now on I will make myself write here and hit that publish button 4 times per week. I would love to write everyday, but it's better to be realistic and not set the bar too high. It's not a fear of failing but just a strong realisation that aiming for 4 and hitting the goal is better than aiming for 7, doing 3 and giving up after two weeks.

This project has a start date but no end date. And there's no plan, no schedule developed further than publishing an article, some musings, a story, memories, a travel blog or whatever it may be here 4 times a week. There's no minimum or maximum word count, although writing 100 or 100,000 words seems pointless and improbable respectively. In fact, I'm not even sure where the word count is in the backend of this blog.

I want to be more creative. We only have 1 life, and whilst you can always earn more money you can't create more time. I want to feel like I'm doing something with my life and I've always enjoyed writing. I'm by no means a good writer, at least not yet, but hopefully this project will encourage me to get better, to improve my writing skills and help me express myself more fluently, more articulately, eloquently, proudly and colourfully. That remains to be seen.

I've always felt like I have stories in me. I feel like I could write a book. But any sort of concrete storyline is missing, as is the writing practice. So no point throwing myself in the deep end trying to pen a 300 page novel, it will only end in tears. Or more likely a horrific effort about 20 pages long. I hope this exercise will help me to organise thoughts, potential ideas for stories, and let me practise putting the metaphorical pen to paper.

So here it begins, a bit rambly I know but that, quite frankly, doesn't matter. What matters is that I've started. Now to continue. And before you ask, yes you probably are the only person reading this. I'm not promoting my writing anywhere and don't expect or want people to read. That's not the point. This is an individual exercise for me and my brain. If you happen to join me for any part of that journey then hello, welcome and thanks for coming.

Happy Birthday Alessandro Volta!

Today is the 270th birthday of Alessandro Volta (no he isn't still living, he died aged 82, otherwise he would probably be more famous for that!).

You might not necessarily have heard of him, but looking back he was certainly a very influential figure in the 18th and 19th centuries. And his surname gives a big clue regarding his work.

The Italian scientist invented the first type of battery, able to supply a reliable and steady flow of electricity. Weirdly enough, it was when he and another recognised name, Luigi Galvani (think galvanise), were working with a frog that they discovered the idea of "animal electricity".

This led to Volta inventing the voltaic pile - an electrical battery - at the end of the 1700s, which would power a huge amount of industry well into the late 19th century.

His revelation and invention was the catalyst for a number of others, and was an essential element in the Industrial Revolution.

So a big thank you and happy birthday to Alessandro Volta!